From The Ed-itor’s Desk…

Toilet Paper Sales Skyrocket

September 26, 2016
Smart investors have once again put their money this Homecoming season in shares of Charmin, Quilted Northern and Cottonelle. "Toilet paper is flying off the shelves as fast as week can stock it," said Henry Matzensheimer, owner of the local IGA. "We've doubled the price, but teenagers still fill their carts with TP."  "I've doubled... Read More

Heavy Snow Predicted According To Persimmon Seeds

September 17, 2016
Monroe Countians should expect to deal with plenty of snow this coming winter. The age-old persimmon test was conducted today revealing the snowy prognostication. Lifelong residents Vicki (nee Hoffmann) and Roger Taake performed the official weather prediction today at her home in rural Maeystown.  "Me and Roger picked a whole punch of persimmons this morning,"... Read More

How to prepare for driving Rt. 3 through Waterloo…

September 16, 2016

Decepticons Attack Valmeyer

July 19, 2016
Today's power outage is believed to have been caused by an attack by the evil Transformer Decepticons. Megatron is rumored to have been spotted filling up today at Mike's Convenience. At least the morning coffee guys swore that some strange outsider walked in earlier today.  Coming to the rescue was Optimus Prime, who was disguised... Read More

Monroe County’s Favorite Game Show…..

July 7, 2016

Justice Turns A Blind Eye To Local Ordinances

July 7, 2016
The Monroe County Democrats have sidestepped local zoning laws pertaining to political signage allowed to be posted less than 30 days before an election. Local officials have taken the pragmatic decision to just let it go.  Monroe County Political Sign Code….ORDINANCE 99-19Whereas, the Monroe County Regional Planning Commission and the Monroe County Zoning Board of... Read More

The Republicans have brought out the big guns to enforce the local political sign ordinance…..

July 6, 2016
Monroe County Political Sign Code….ORDINANCE 99-19Whereas, the Monroe County Regional Planning Commission and the Monroe County Zoning Board of Appeals have recommended the following changes in the Monroe County Zoning Code; so. NOW, THEREFORE BE IT ORDAINED by the Board of County Commissioners of Monroe County; Illinois that the Monroe County Zoning Code be changed... Read More

Have the Republicans altered the Constitution, or are they simply following a local sign ordinance on the books….

July 6, 2016

A little humor regarding the local Political Sign Ordinance making the headlines….

July 6, 2016

Pranksters Strike Waterloo

May 22, 2016
Residents driving or walking past the intersection of Market and Hamacher streets in Waterloo over the weekend reported seeing a strange object near the crossing guard shack. At first glance, the object appeared to be a body wrapped and tied inside a black plastic trash bag.  Several Waterloo-area residents reported the bizarre sighting to the Independent's... Read More