Lighter Side of Local News
Fults Phil Sees MANY Shadows
By Monroe County Independent |
Expect Six More Weeks Of Schlick Ice With the bright sunlight warming the early February air over Monroe County, shadows abound from Columbia to Ames. And as fate would have it – it be Ground Hog Day! That means Monroe County’s favorite weather prognosticator, Fults Phil, wakes from hibernation, crawls out of his den and surveys……
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Monroe Countians Brace For Winter Storm Stumpf
This is Sunday Afternoon Humor – this is just a joke. Serious news stories with actual weather information will be provided as needed.) Near panic is breaking loose as local yokels, outschlanders and little whipperschnappers are all in winter storm mode. This storm has been designated as Winter Storm Stumpf as local weather watchers track……
Trolley Coming To Monroe County
With the booming success of the Loop Trolley in the Delmar Loop, a streetcar line will soon make its way through the bustling boulevards of Monroe County. Valmeyer’s red caboose is being retrofitted into a circa-1950s passenger trolley. Tracks are being laid connecting the communities of Valmeyer, Waterloo, Hecker and Columbia. Future expansion is anticipated…….
Clean Slate At CUSD
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Community Rallies To Save Phone Booth
Waterloo residents are left in shock this morning when they heard the news that the Courthouse Square phone booth was heavily damaged in an accident. The community is now rallying to preserve the beloved downtown icon. A Go Fund Me site has been opened to raise funds to rebuild the badly dented frame. Two local kids……
Superman On His Way To Waterloo
(Metropolis, Ill.) The Justice League has issued the following release… We are deeply saddened to learn of the untimely death of the Courthouse Square phone booth in downtown Waterloo. Our very own Superman used that booth on numerous occasions to switch from his alter ego into the beloved Man of Steel. “Soup” has been in……
Homeowner Sets Trap For Porch Pirates
Try and steal from Tillie, and you could be ‘Walking The Plank!” Sick and tired of having his Amazon packages stolen from in front of her front door, Tillie Mae Schneidschmitz took matters into her own hands. She lives alone in rural Fults next door to her daughter and that good-for-nothing husband of hers. Tillie……
Quickest way to get from Columbia To Waterloo…
Old Man Matzensheimer was dead-on this morning when he put put a Sclick-Ice On Da’ Hard Roads Advisory. Snow, sleet, rain and freezing temperatures resulting in a hard freeze – resulting in black ice on all road, including the much-traveled Rt. 3. To access more content, login or subscribe to the Monroe County Independent. If…
Identity Of Whistleblower Revealed
Volleyball ref Jeff Toenjes has been outed as the mysterious whistleblower being sought by local Republican leaders. Toenjes is accused of filing a report to the school board asking to eject the county chairman from a recent game. Fans report the chairman was heckling the opposing team’s coaching staff. During the match Jeff blew the……
Columbia Cops Caught Carrying Kegs
Motorists driving down Main Street in Columbia this week did a double take when they saw two police officers carrying beer kegs in front of Tiny’s. It was out of the ordinary since Columbia is a town known far and wide for its strict enforcement of DUI laws. Were the officers clearing out all the……
Hippies Heading To City Hall
A group of hippies are planning to speak at tonight’s Waterloo City Council meeting in a last minute attempt to prevent the council from banning retail pot dispensaries. “If they had a problem with our decision, they should have spoken up months ago while we were debating the matter,” said Mayor Tom Smith. “It’s a……
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